There's currently a buzz in the blogging scene for legallydistinctemon aka legamon or fakemon, and despite trying to stay out of it I could not help writing a fakemon battle system that is incompatible with most of the existing prior art. Some links to that other, better prior art: deus's generator tables, Phlox's automation of same, another generator on liches get stitches and, perhaps most prominently, Lexi's You Must Acquire Them.
As a disclaimer, I don't really think fakemon battles, even the streamlined version that I've written here, fits particularly well into existing structures of TTRPG play. Stopping everything to do tactically intensive 1-on-1 fights just doesn't gel very well with any sort of party play and I'm not sure that one should really try. This post certainly doesn't, it's just fakemon battle rules.
The math of pokemon games is trivial for computers to do but monstrous for humans, so we're not going to try to replicate their level of crunch. In particular, level grinding isn't a part of the game I think it's particularly worth imitating so we're dropping level from the game's math entirely. Fakemon have four stats: Attack, Defense, Speed and Special all rated 1-5. Max HP is equal to Defense times 3, plus the sum of the other stats. There's no leveling up, evolving to a new form should probably increase its stats.
Every round, both sides choose moves in secret. Unless otherwise noted, fakemon know a normal move and a special move of their type, which corresponds to a particular biome. Then, roll two dice and determine if either fakemon wins the initiative based on their speed (this table is equivalent to a Speed-in-12 chance to win the initiative on each side, if you're the sort of weirdo who has a d12.):
| Speed | Home team first | Away team first |
| 1 | 2,3 | 11,12 |
| 2 | 2,3,4 | 10,11,12 |
| 3 | 3,4,5 | 9,10,11 |
| 4 | 2,3,5,6 | 8,9,11,12 |
| 5 | 2,3,4,5,6 | 8,9,10,11,12 |
Whoever wins the initiative gets to use their move first. If no one wins initiative, moves get resolved simultaneously, which can cause mutual knockouts.
Fakemon have dice for normal moves equal to their Attack stat and dice for special moves equal to their Special stat. Unless otherwise noted for a move roll as many dice as you choose, discard any 6s and deal [sum] damage, minus opponent's Defense for normal moves and Special for special moves. Fakemon deal an extra [dice] of damage when using special moves of their own type. Discarded dice can't be used again until your fakemon can rest. If damage reduces a fakemon to 0 HP they faint and can't fight anymore.
Types have vulnerabilities and resistances. Fakemon take double damage from moves their type is vulnerable to and half damage from moves their type is resistant to:
| Type | vulnerable to | resistant to |
| ROCK | CITY, WATER, VENOM | GRASS, SKY |
| GRASS | ROCK, VENOM | WOOD |
| WOOD | GRASS, VENOM | SHORE |
| SHORE | WOOD, SKY, VENOM | CITY, WATER |
| CITY | SHORE, VENOM | ROCK, SKY |
| SKY | CITY | normal* |
| WATER | CITY | normal* |
| VENOM | SKY, WATER | VENOM |
There are no normal type fakemon, that would be boring.
Fakemon can only use special SKY moves if they are able to fly about; if a SKY-type fakemon does not have room to fly, they lose their resistance to normal moves. Similarly, fakemon can only use special WATER moves if they are swimming and WATER-type fakemon lose their resistance to normal moves on land.
If you use an item in battle your side can't use a move that turn.
Some classic fakemon items:
- Antidote ($10): makes a fakemon resistant to VENOM moves for a few hours, but reduces their max HP by 1 for every previous day they've taken antidotes.
- Elixir ($120): restore all discarded dice for a fakemon.
- Fake ball ($12): captures a wild fakemon if a roll of 2d6 is greater than their current HP.
- Potion ($30): restores a fakemon to max HP.
- Revive ($200): restores a fainted fakemon to half their maximum HP.
